Bucket list for a Milestone

Husband mentioned bucket listery the other night, after I had a new piercing. What a jolly good idea, thought I, as I eyed the pimms and bemoaned the lack of lemonade. After all, life begins at 40, or so they say, but personally, I think they say that to stop us making like lemmings off the pier. So without further ado, I wish to set in black and orange the list of things I wish to do or achieve now I am reaching this milestone of misery. I know this list seems selfish, but it's a list for me, for things I need to do, because my clock is ticking, and this is not a dress rehearsal.

1)  Join the WhippleClub.  

A nipple piercing. This does NOT mean that I eat babies or run naked around campfires in forests. It just is what it is. A whipple ring. I have a pink sparkly one. It hurts less than breastfeeding did,  tweezers, pliers and freezing spray notwithstanding, which just proves how crap I was at milking. 

Status; DONE

2)  Learn to drive. 

Because I want to feel the wind on my face without having to bother anyone else. Plus I have plans. I can actually drive well and smoothly, but sadly I have the road sense of a hedgehog. Thankfully there doesn't actually appear to be a licensing authority in the world who would grant me a  provisional, but I want to learn and pass the test, even if I never own a car.

Status;

3)  Go on a Road Trip.

If I can drive I can then share the load. We must wear headscarves and sunglasses, but I think avoiding hitchhikers might be a good idea. I don't think we should drive off any cliffs, either. Everyone else can be Thelma and Louise, I'll be an elderly Lydia in the back. 

Status;

4)  Go to a music festival.

I have never ever been to one. Partially because until now I haven't really liked music, partially because I prefer proper toilets, and partially because, well, crowds. Bloody terrified of them. 

Have never really been into concerts let alone crowds. I was once dragged to a Plant&Page show at Wembley to make up the numbers. Spent the entire time smoking in the toilets until Stairway to Heaven came on. Was in a varied group, one of whom thought me "unwholesome" but I think that's because she fancied my then boyfriend. I occasionally angst about her denouncement of me, fifteen years later. Which is why I need to get a life. Which a music festival will help me achieve.

Status;

5)  Go to Bruxelles to see my lovely.

We joke about debauchery - snorting sherbet dibdabs off the bald head of a dungeon sex-dwarf at 4am in homage to Freddie Mercury - but really I suspect it will be moules et frites et vin. With lots of chat and maybe the odd croissant. Though I wouldn't be adverse to a dungeon. Being unwholesome and all that. 

Status; I HAZ EUROS AND EUROSTAR VOUCHERS.

6)  Get a job.

My brain is atrophied, and I do not like this. I would be an excellent addition to your workplace. Except a)I make shit tea and b) I'm allergic to zebras and children. But I am a fast learner, and loyal, adaptable, fast thinking and good with people. (Even though I'm a bit scared of them). Am creative, artistic, and good with sequins and glue. Gissa job.

Status;

7)  See Muse in concert.

Because I very like them. I know, I know, I've come late to the party but boy do I like it.

Status;

8)  Be myself once more.

This involves losing the weight caused by motherhood, depression and inertia, and getting my sparkle back. I have started wearing red lipstick again which is always a good barometer, and possibly why Ms HolyBarbourJacket thought me unwholesome, but to be fair the black velvet thigh boots and stockings probably didn't help my cause much either. Or the heavy smoking and evil smile. BUT ANYWAY. I want to be me again. This lumpen misery is not me. The unwholesome strumpet look probably is though.

Status; Dieting. Gym joined. Two stone down.

9)  Go Out.

I'm on this! I now go out at any excuse and have even been to ThatLondon on a TRAIN. Yeah. Fear me. I have discovered vodka and crashing at my Lovelies then toast and Friends in the morning and this pleases me. Had a Sunday brunch with pals last week for the first time EVER. You see how little I had previously made my life? I have decided to accept all invitations, to feel the fear, then do it anyway.

Status; DONE

10) Make stuff and sell it.

I make pretties. I have not judged them pretty, others have, and enough to buy them in a couple of cases. I use glitter, sequins, glue, canvases, felt, all sorts of stuff and make pictures and bags. Sometimes I revamp fashion dolls but I doubt MxxxxL would appreciate my dubious talents, as I although the bejewelled mermaids might be ok, I doubt the dominatrix would be. Would probably put money on their ire actually, so stick with nice safe furniture and accessories in 1:12 and 1:6... but whatever, I WILL make stuff and I WILL sell the odd thing. To learn confidence if nothing else.

Status;

11) Go PLACES.

Not just out on the lash at the weekend, but explore. I have a hankering to see Whitby and to tweet up with some of the lovely people I have met on twitter. As other websites have taught me, the chances of all sixty people in the pub being cannibalistic serial killers called Dave are actually quite minimal, and indeed, have met some proper lovelies through social media. (One of whom is my lovely du Bruxelles). So I am going to acquaint myself with bus and train timetables and explore this sceptered isle. And Sweden, to see another recently migrated social media lovely who became so very dear to me as well. 

Status; Getting there.

12) Learn to be happy.

What it says. To walk in the light, not grim shadows of self-loathing and doubt. To be the best mother, wife and friend I can be, and stop seeing myself as separate to my loved ones. That way has lain madness and despair. 

Status; seeing a counsellor

13) To see the Statue of Liberty with my eldest.

Again, what it says. Since we saw her come to life to save New York in Ghostbusters II we have loved her, and we just want to see her, if we do nothing else. I don't know how, and I don't know when, but one day, we will. I know I will cry and dissolve in to puddle of snot bubblery, but hey ho. It's my ultimate dream, and hers. 

Status; 

So here we are. My 40 List. Some might happen, some might not, some will always be a pipe dream; but I'll be damned if I carry on letting myself die before I stop breathing, or crying in the dark.  It's done me no favours thus far, and it's hight time I got a life... 

To borrow a line - we were born to die. Time I filled that space with goodness and life.